Type Four children can frequently feel that they felt some kind of abandonment by one or both caregivers. This could have come in the form of being passed on to someone else to be cared for, being a child of divorce at a young age or left to fend for themselves by busy parents. Hence, they felt alone, cut off from the source of love for reasons they could not comprehend. This sense of loneliness caused them to feel isolated and their feelings not validated by those who were tasked to take care of them. As a result, they turned inward into their feelings and imagination to cope. The response of many Fours was to use the depths of these painful feelings to be different from others and stand out from leading a common life.

• Highly perceptive: Fours have the ability to dig into the depths of life and meaning as they experience feelings at a deep level. They have an inclination to dive into experiences which others avoid, especially those which are painful and sad.

• Warm and sociable: Since they are comfortable with feelings, creating connection with others is a key quality they possess.

• Fours have a gift of creativity which is quite unlike the other types. This expression of deep feelings inspires them to be innovative and express it from a place of heartfelt passion and deep intuition vs the heady ways of some other types.

• Since they strive to be unique and be seen as unique, much effort goes into looking different and being different. This can take the form of their dressing, design, choice of words and ideas so long as they are not seen as superficial or ordinary.

• It is no surprise then that if you peer into the home of a Type 4, they have an aesthetic sense of design, arrangement and choice of fixtures that are appealing to the eye. There is something about their emotional intensity that manifests in beauty and splendour.

• Since Fours are adept at reading emotions, they can easily pick up the feelings of people around them and “know” what is happening inside others. The wisdom of the heart lies deep within Fours

Any type becomes Unresourceful when they begin to over-do some of the thoughts and behaviours that are typical of the type.

• Fours can experience a roller-coaster of dark moods and despair, and swing back to happiness rapidly within minutes, all which can be caused by something most would consider insignificant. This unpredictability can be draining to others around them. Sometimes, in the downward spiral of feelings, Fours can be self-loathing and feel shame. Underlying this is the belief that they don’t deserve to be loved.

• Instead of basking in the glory and gratitude of abundance, Fours can sometimes dwell in a state of longing for what they don’t have. Being stuck in this state evokes feelings of sadness, an emotion they are accustomed to.

• Many Fours can relate to some form of abandonment, from mild to intense. It can sometimes be a preoccupation to give such thoughts undue attention, resulting in intense feelings of abandonment. This sense of insecurity makes them needy and feel that what they feel or have is never good enough.

• They pride themselves on being genuine and strive to be the best and give every ounce of their kindness to others. This comes with a fair amount of guilt if they believe they have not measured up to the standards they are capable of. They wittingly expect too much from themselves and from life.

• Recognise the aspects of your fantasy life which are not in alignment with reality. Don’t allow yourself to procrastinate because you have created lofty and creative goals. You may have to step down from your high horse and start seeing the reality of the present and settle for some of the low hanging fruits. This can be done by integrating objectivity with emotionality to find an equilibrium that will allow you to move forward and not get stuck in fantasy and lofty goals.

• Seek out truthful friends who are willing to mirror your genuine good qualities and talents, as well as speak compassionately about your blind spots. This will provide you with useful information about yourself.

• Find a deep sense of self-worth, and own your good qualities, talents and contribution to life, without comparing yourself to others. While this can seem like a motherhood statement, you need to recognize that comparing yourself to others is a futile exercise because you are gifted in your own special way.

• Be mindful if you are dumping your emotional issues on others. People who care about you want to be there in any way they can for you, but the “roller-coaster emotions” must be managed if you want people to accept you and fully appreciate your gifts.

• Set up positive and constructive routines for yourself so that you balance out mental, spiritual and emotional routines, rather than fully playing out the emotional ones and living in a world of fantasy or melodrama.
  Remember that feelings are not facts. They offer you important insights but sometimes cause the mind to go out of whack. Fours need to keep feelings in check by living in the here and now. A recognition that not everything that appears in the mind is rational and such thoughts need to be kept in check.