During childhood, the Type 3 child felt rewarded only for what they did and how well they did it. Their feelings were discounted and ignored, only their performance and what was expected of them mattered. This harmed their ability to love themselves and others. Admiration replaced real love.

• Ambitious: Threes are optimistic, friendly, and upbeat. They are energetic and out there to connect, get ahead and move toward their goals which could be about connection with others or achieving targets.

• Threes are Resilient from setbacks and able to ward off most challenges, partly because they have also blocked much of their capacity to feel pain. They charge ahead in tough times with a laser-like focus on their goal.

• They are resourceful, informed, actively participate and frequently take charge of situations to ensure progress is sustained in projects. They like playing a big role in it, allowing for better control to keep things on course.

• Persistent: Threes are persevering and have a relentless work ethic to be competent and get things done efficiently. They are known to live to work and typically scale new heights of success and growth consistently. The worst nightmare for a Three is to be laid off from work and feel “useless”.

• They strive to be the best, set goals and milestones and have boundless energy to get there. Ambitiousness is the order of the day and a Three will not sleep if they believe they have not put in a hard day’s work to get on track with their goals.

• They are known to put their best foot forward, to look good, feel good and have a comfortable life. They appreciate good quality and will strive to maintain their standard of living.

Any type becomes Unresourceful when they begin to over-do some of the thoughts and behaviours that are typical of the type.

• Live to work: Threes have a fear of being seen as unsuccessful. Hence, where they perceive any lack, there is a deep insecurity of failure or not having achieved much. Hence they work themselves to the bone and repress their feelings. Threes sometimes can’t see an illness coming because of their dogged pursuit for the external trophy.

• Excessively image conscious: Their energy is put into developing a positive image vs how they feel. Hence, it’s hard to find a Three who does not care about their appearance. However, when overboard, they may put excessive resources into buying branded goods and expensive clothing that they believe will make them look successful. However, this pattern of vanity and looking good only serves to deprive them of looking after more important needs like work-life balance and inner happiness.

• Wants to stand out on top: Threes tend to compare themselves to people who do things better. While it brings out the competitive spirit to strive for excellence, it also evokes a sense of need to be superior and be a cut above the rest.

• Inauthentic: They can assume a chameleon-like adaptation strategy and blend in with their audience. They can be inclined to put on a façade or wear the cloak of success even if they aren’t successful yet. Fake it till you make it is an unconscious mantra. Authenticity can afford to take a back seat. This is when they might sometimes take great effort to hide certain deficiencies by faking success or not allowing themselves to be vulnerable and face up to it with courage.

• Learn to detect when you are putting on an “image” or performance and when you are not. This self-awareness will allow you to serve your needs rather than your self-image.

• Like the Eights and Ones, you are not good at taking a break or noticing that you need one. Pausing allows you to take stock and reinvent.

• Threes find it hard to sit still and do nothing, which is why meditating will be last on your list but do consider it. It will keep you grounded, stable and mindful.

• Learn to move more with the flow of events and experiences, and be less driven to continuously try to make things happen.

• Find people whom you are comfortable sharing your vulnerabilities with. Putting on a façade of extreme competence and ability adds extra stress and demands to your already busy schedule. Others can help you see a perspective you cannot.

• Try being part of a team and staying on the fringes instead of calling the shots all the time. This allows you to build other competencies while harnessing relationships with others.